Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Just felt like writing

 Love and hate are so similar.
You think about the object of your hatred or affection often
You always stare at it when it's around
You get a feeling in your gut when thinking about it
Personally, my muscles tense, specifically around the shoulders

How can anyone figure out the goddamned difference?

and then there's my depression.
First suicide attempt in years.  Great big fucking scar on my arm now, thanks self.
At least I get a good story out of it.
"Hey how'd you get that scar on your arm?"
"I was attacked by a bear."
"Attacked by a be--"
"Several, actually."
"With chainsaws."
"I really shouldn't've told that bear his mom made a great throw rug."

I don't know why my depressions been so bad recently, it's been under control for the past two years.  I even had my first minor panic attack in a while, watching a show on mummies found in South America at four in the morning.
In the past when I saw something on death I'd freak the fuck out about how i was going to die and whatnot, and my brain would kind of melt.  After being put on my medication I haven't had another one of those since, until two nights ago.
To top it all off, too, I started getting scared of the dark again.  I thought I was all grown up.

I might be getting a dog.  Can't wait.