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Trying to Work

So today I'm bored as hell, sitting around on a lazy Sunday afternoon after church with a lizard in my shirt and three tanks set up in my room.
My brain feels like its on the fritz right now.  I had a really interesting conversation with the rest of the youth group about bullying.
The only person there who hadn't been bullied was Finland.  Either people in Finland are really nice or everyone just loves that little blondie.
I eventually came to the conclusion that we should feel sorry for bullies.  They have their own insecurities and problems which they feel can only be taken care of by venting in some way, which unfortunately means making someone else feel like shit.  Misery loves company and all that good stuff.

I realize that while I haven't forgiven the people who tormented me when I was younger, I do pity them.  But kids will be kids, and I have to let bygones be bygones.

While I might be a dumbass, I look at things way more logically than most people when my brain's working.

Right now it's not.  Tried to break up with the boyfriend.  Note: Tried.  I told him we should "call it quits" and we agreed to "talk about it tomorrow."  Apparently responding to his texts and being polite equals "I'm sorry about last night."  We discussed it a little, and he spent a day trying to be better about talking to me and spending time with me.  Two days later and not much has changed.  God, I'm a pussy.
He isn't making me happy anymore but I know I'll be even worse without him.  Maybe not in the long run.  But shit.  I guess I'll talk to him the next time I see him.  We just come from two different worlds I guess.   I've been really depressed.  Maybe I need more excersize.  Or more food or a beverage or something.
Shit, now my basic English is turning to French in my mind.

I guess I'm kind of having a breakdown?